Everything in California is so strange and different compared to Carolina. It’s all so… colorful and vivid and overwhelming. San Fran smells like weed. Seriously. Everyone was just lighting up everywhere. It’s so loud and crazy and there are so many people everywhere.
And now I’m in Santa Cruz for a few days, where my mom spent a lot of time. It’s beautiful here. It’s breathtaking. I keep crying over everything. The flowers, the smells, the people…
The Pacific. My God, the Pacific. It’s so huge and rough and wild and blue! The cliffs, the rocks, the fog! I’ve never seen real fog before! It has a life all its own.
I’m just… I’m in full shock. It’s all so much to take in.
Have you ever been dragged out of a dream and watched the surface of it shatter, and you lose all the memory of the dream, left with only the aftertaste? The humming of the way it made you feel still lingering somewhere in the depths of your bones?
I’m groggy, stumbling around trying to get my last few things together. Today’s the day, today’s the day. California. It still doesn’t feel real. I still can’t believe this trip is finally here. I’ve talked about it, dreamed about it for years. It’s not even that big of a deal really, just two weeks with my Godmother. But… I feel like I’ve been waiting for a very long time. This is a shift, a change. This is where everything ends, and everything else is about to begin. I can’t explain it just yet… just that… nothing is ever going to be the same ever again… and that’s okay.